TODAY’S DEBATE: Harvard rescinds acceptance of Parkland, Fla., mass shooting activist Kyle Kashuv after racism he wrote as a 16-year-old student was brought to light.

After tens of editorials and think-pieces, we have yet to hear the vital thing. Whether opposed or in favor of Harvard’s decision, these positions are all very open to easy attack along ideological lines. What if we forgot about what’s fair and thought about what’s good?

We live in a highly punitive society where compassion and true forgiveness are scant. The punitive nature of our society condones the actions of Harvard. However, that does not mean we should accept this attitude toward problems.

Our country has not healed racism because we refuse to address it head on and instead perpetrate a lie that only “evil” people are racist. The fact of the matter is that this is a myth. Racism is ugly and immensely destructive to everyone…but that doesn’t mean that everyday people who have good and even great qualities do not carryout racist actions or thinking.

Pretending only evil, irredeemable people are racist allows us to deny our own racist thoughts and actions because we think, “Well, I’m not evil so I can’t be really racist.” This is why so often people respond to accusations of racism with defensiveness rather than consideration.

Racism has not continued into the 21st century because of a few bad seeds. It is built into the very foundation of our government, our business, our schools, and thus our society. You can be a good person in many other ways and be racist at times and condone the racism of others—we all do it. People of every color, people every faith, people of strong moral conviction—we all do it.

We condone racism when we pretend that we live in a society where anyone can succeed. We don’t. There are unfair advantages, there is discrimination. The very tests most institutions of higher education use to make admissions decisions (that go undisputed) are weighted in favor of students from particular cultural backgrounds. Yet we do not outrage because we have set the bar for racism so high that only people like white supremacists clear it. That doesn’t work. It hasn’t worked. We should stop doing this.

We should instead be creating spaces where ugly feelings like racism are welcomed for honest discussion facilitated in a constructive, productive manner and then processed for dismantling through guided empathy and compassion. That happens at many institutions of higher education. Institutions like my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

UW-Madison’s motto is called The Wisconsin Idea: the university exists to better our society. We do this not only by investing in research that benefits the people of Wisconsin and the world, but also by admitting people who aren’t perfect but want to be the best version of themselves.

My school facilitates that in part by requiring all students across colleges to take an ethnic studies course. My school does this by offering classes in which tough but honest and compassionate discussion between people of opposing views is responsibly carried out for the betterment of all. My school does this by employing experts who train staff and create spaces where people of diverse backgrounds—socioeconomic, religious, ideological, ethnic, gender and sexual differences among them—are welcomed because the university is a marketplace of ideas. Or at least it should try to be.

While our society is at present a punitive one, we should strive to be instead a constructive one. Not punish people for being “caught racist” but help people understand their racism in order to overcome it. That’s the only way our society eliminates problematic behaviors. We are a global leader in many respects, but not morally. To foster moral leadership you don’t close the door on people when they show you their flaws. You invite them in and work with them so that you can both develop into better people. Learning makes you better but so does teaching. Punishment makes one person weaker but compassion makes both stronger. It takes work.

What Harvard has shown through it’s admissions criteria is that they are not interested in doing the work of making young people into true leaders in our society. Perhaps Harvard is not capable of this impressive feat. Our nations public schools do this all the time. Perhaps it is not Harvard that is wrong, but us as a society who give Harvard cachet it has not earned. Is Harvard a collection of already perfect treasures or is it an institution of higher education? That is their choice. It is our choice whether we bestow prestige on the choice they make.